Over the last while I’ve continued collecting some of the stuff my kids say. Kids may drive us crazy sometimes, but there is no question they keep life interesting.

For perspective:
Caleb- Age 7 
Logan- Age 5
Micah- Age 2 
Dad- Hard to say
Wife- Ageless

“It’s not how they say it, it really is what they say“

1. Quiz: What does Micah call this?

Answer: “Basketball Poop!” Every time we see one, he’s sure to call out, “Look basketball poop!”  

2. We were going to the doctor the other day and Logan was worried about having to get blood drawn.
Logan: Are they going to suck my blood?
David: Maybe Logan.

4. On Zombies:
Caleb: If zombies were real, they wouldn’t go to heaven.
Jess: Maybe, but zombies are not real.
Caleb: Yes, but if they were real they would go to the fireland.
A. I don’t know why we were talking about zombies and how he even knew what a zombie was. B. I don’t know why Caleb figured zombies would be going to the fireland. C. What is fireland? 

5. Celebrations:
Micah (to celebrate Easter): Happy Birthday Easter
Micah (to celebrate Mother’s Day): Happy Birthday Mother’s Day
Micah (to celebrate July 4th): Happy Birthday America (Ok, that one actually worked) 

 Why I Have No Hair

6. Caleb broke a few pieces off our front steps and we told him we would have to pay $2,000 to have new steps made. We informed him that he’d have to help us pay for the steps with some of his money. He was quite upset and asked, “But, why would anyone pay $2,000 for a decoration?”

7. As we walk inside from the car: 
Jess: David, did you give Micah that candy cane?
David: No
(Jess and David look at each other, each realizing at the exact same moment that Micah was sucking on  a mini candy cane he found on the floor of our car from who-knows-when! We could only pray he found it with a wrapper.)

The Conversations We Have

8. As Caleb struggles to open the lid to the gummy children vitamins:
Jess: Caleb, let me help you open that, it’s kid proof.
Caleb: Surprised, “How’d it know?”

9. As we’re parking the car and only Micah (2 year old) and I are in the car:
Micah’s talking and I’m somewhat ignoring him as  I try to park safely. Then Micah says, “Talk me daddy, talk me!”
David: Oh, Micah, you want me to talk to you?
Micah: “Yesh.”
He may be 2, but I have a feeling we have a social little guy on our hands.

10. Indentured Brotherhood
Jess: Caleb! You can not pay your brother to be your servant!
Caleb (to Jess): But, it’s my money. Can’t I do with it what i want?
Jess: Uh, no.
David: (Deciding to jump in): Logan, if you want to be your brother’s servant, make sure you first come up with a reasonable price and determine how long you’ll be his servant. Negotiate fair terms and then I’ll allow it.

11. Describing Friends
As I asked Logan about the friends he played with that day, he mentioned one I hadn’t heard of before. Trying to figure out if I knew the kid I asked what he looked like. Logan replied, “He looks like Lebron James, only shorter.” Oh my.

12. Caleb’s Joke:
What do you say if there’s a giant booger monster trying to eat you?
Answer: You say, “It is snot funny!”

A normal night in the Thorne household: