How Size Matters, Part 2: House Size
Our Groups are Too Small? A few years ago I was at conference talking about groups and the lead church proposed that larger groups, made up of 30-50 people, on mission together, could be more effective than smaller groups of 10-15. As they explained this idea, I agreed with a lot of the things they were saying but I knew we had a huge problem! The host church was situated in a more affluent part of the state with bigger houses that could fit 30-50 people. I live in an older area with a little smaller, post World War 2 ...
An Equation to Determine Group Health
Below are some numbers you can use after people sign up for your group to determine if you have enough people. (You may not know the people who signed up for your group, but may be able to work with your group coach or staff to see if others may know them.) Here's an equation you can use to calculate your potential group health. (Include yourself) For each committed couple you have in your group give yourself: 3 points For each committed individual (not couple) you have in your group, give yourself: 2 points For each non-committed couple you have in your group ...
How Size Matters, Part 1: Group Size
Do Numbers Matter? Typically we say an ideal small group consists of 10-15 people. Less than that can sometimes feel awkward and more can feel overwhelming. But, what if the number doesn't matter at all? I believe there are two things that affect group health more than how many people attend on a weekly basis. Expectations I’ve had groups in the past where only a few people signed up and so had to help the group navigate through what to do. I realized what mattered most was people’s expectations of how many people “should” be in the group in order ...
Group Stressors: Food
Something special happens when people eat together. You relax and sometimes laugh. It gives your group something common to talk about so you can say things like, “Man, this is good, how’d you make this?” If nothing else, it gives you a way to hide awkward conversational silence. But, there’s no way around it, having dinner at small group is stressful! I think it’s most helpful to remember that there are no rules a group has to follow when it comes to eating. It is helpful to offer something. People will relax and open up easier as a group if they’re ...
5 Secrets of the First Year of Marriage
Marriage secret As my wife’s youngest sister is getting married this weekend, it makes me think back to all the things I’ve learned about marriage over the last 10 years. I thought I’d share 5 secrets of marriage no one talks about: 1. They never go away Shortly after my wife and I first go married I have this specific memory of coming home from Starbucks to our one bedroom apartment and there was my loving wife, waiting for me. Because we had recently moved into the area, she was looking for a job and we were still looking for a social life. ...
5 Fun Icebreaker Games
The group that laughs together, stays together. Icebreakers are especially important over the first few weeks after a group starts. Games that help people get to know others in the group also help build connections in the group, which helps people feel like they belong. Here's 5 games I like to use: 1. M&M Game Supplies Needed: A bag of M&M’s Pass around a bowl of M&M’s and ask everyone to take out 5. Each color of M&M represents something they need to share about themselves. Red: Something you do well Brown: Ways you relax Green: Goals you have Yellow: ...
Group Stressors: Babysitting
Few things can add more stress to a group than babysitting. As a parent, you’re trying to savor a few moments of quality adult interaction, when suddenly your 2 year old appears in the room crying loudly. Game over. Then there’s the whole collecting money for baby-sitting thing. There’s that one family who never pays and as a group leader you seem to always have to give more than your fair share. How can we make babysitting less stressful? Start at the beginning On your first night of group, talk about babysitting. Explain how it works, how much to give, ...
15 Questions Every Person Asks When Joining a Small Group
Signing up for a group for the first time can be intimidating. As group leaders, it's our job to help people feel comfortable attending group for the first time. Here's an idea of what could be going through someone's head after signing up for a group. I just signed up for a group. Oh no, what did I just do? Should I go? Maybe I'll start next week? What about next semester? I've never been in a group before and have no idea what to expect? Everyone's going to know I'm new and I'll probably do something stupid. Why am I ...
First Night of Group, Part 2: Lesson and Prayer
On your first night of small group, your lesson is very important. This is your one chance to set a tone for your group for the rest of the semester or year! So, I want to share a possible template to use for your lesson for the first night of group. Lesson: Welcome everyone to group. Explain group big picture. I hope this will be a safe place. I hope we’ll grow together. Everyone comes into group with different backgrounds. It’s ok to ask questions and not have the answers. Ask if anyone’s been in a group before, and if so, ...
First Night of Group, Part 1: The Template
Your first night of small group will always be a little different. People are meeting each other for the first time and wondering if they'll like each other, and what to expect from the group. It's important to know that your first night of group will set the tone for what your group will be like, so you need to have a plan. Here’s a template of what a typical first night of group should look like. With Dinner: 1. Dinner (30 minutes) 2. Icebreaker Game (15 minutes) 3. Lesson (45 minutes) 4. Prayer (15 minutes) Total: 1:45 Without Dinner: 1. ...