I’ve continued collecting some of the things my kids say. Kids may drive us crazy sometimes, but there is no question they keep life interesting.

For perspective:
Caleb- Age 10 
Logan- Age 7
Micah- Age 4 
Dad- Hard to say
Wife- Ageless

1. On the roof 

Logan, running inside: “Daddy, Caleb needs you.”
David: “Why”
Logan: “Uh….because he’s on the roof of the garage.”
David (only somewhat surprised): “Why is Caleb on the roof”?
Logan: “He threw a frisbee on it and now he can’t get down.”

2. Cleveland Sympathy

Caleb after visiting the Cleveland Orchestra: “I loved it! Did you know Bach wrote 8 sympathies before going deaf? He wrote his 9th sympathy after he was deaf!”

3. Desert Puppies 

In asking the “highs and lows of everyone’s day”
Micah: My high was getting a treat. My low was not going on vacation?
David: Where would you go on vacation?
Micah: The desert.
David: Why would you go to the desert?
Micah: To see the camels and the puppies.
David: …

4. Brother Love 

Caleb: Micah, how much do you love Caleb?
Micah: To the desert.
Caleb: To the desert and back?
Micah: No, just to the desert.

5. Not Impressed 

Caleb: Dad, why is it so impressive that this ketchup is made of tomatoes? Isn’t all ketchup made of tomatoes? It would be more impressive if it said, “Cabbage ketchup.”

6. Constant Battles 

Jessica at Walmart: Boys, the candy cane yard ornaments are not swords!

7. Dog Love 

Micah (to his grandparent’s dog): Easton, if you’re going to lick me, lick me in the eye!

8. The Sad Note

Micah received a sad note at school on Friday. (Sad notes are a way the pre-school teacher can let a parent know something “sad” happened at school that day.)   Apparently he said, “Grab your butts and grab your nuts!” Slightly misquoted,  but I blame Angry Birds.

9. Apologize

Micah (upset): Caleb is trying to make me dead!
Caleb: But, I wasn’t……!
David: Caleb, whatever you’re doing- please stop! And please give your brother a hug and apologize for trying to make him dead.

10. My Woman 

David: Micah, you don’t need a woman to be happy.
Micah: I am happy with my woman, but not my dad. He’s stinky.
Jess: That’s right, your mom is the most important.

11. Stink

Caleb (walking in from school): Oh Daddy, by the way, the school gave us deodorant today because they think we stink.

Later…

Caleb: Logan, come smell my armpit. I put deodorant on!
Logan: (sniff, sniff) Mmmm. That smells good.
Caleb: Micah, come smell my armpit.
Micah: (sniff, sniff- is unimpressed)

12. Operation Blessing

(The kids at church are collecting money to buy a goat for poor kids in other countries)
Jess (excited to stuff shoeboxes wit stuff for Operation Blessing): Ok everyone, let’s fill these boxes with the stuff we bought at the store.
Caleb: But mom, do you think the kids in these other countries really want this stuff we bought at the dollar store? Wouldn’t it be better if we bought them a goat instead? Couldn’t that help them more.
Jess: …… Caleb, be quiet, this makes us feel better about ourselves. Fine! Next year we’ll buy a goat.

13. The Cake 

Here’s a picture of Caleb’s 10th birthday cake. Luckily it came with a great birthday message.

14. The Lego

Logan (concerned): Daddy, Caleb has something important to tell you.
Caleb: Um…..I was going to say something, but never mind. I don’t think it’s a big deal anymore.
Logan: Caleb, tell him!
Caleb: Well……Micah’s sitting on the potty and dropped a lego in the toilet. But, don’t worry about it.
David: Ummm……this is very concerning. Caleb, Lego’s don’t dissolve in the toilet.
(David goes upstairs to find Micah crying on the toilet, upset due to a lost lego. David forms a plan.)

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